I have always known that my husband would make a wonderful Daddy. Even before I fell in love with him, before we jumped excitedly around the room staring in wonder at positive pregnancy tests, before our eyes filled with tears at the arrival of each of our five boys. It was clear to me, way back then when we were young and carefree that Jez would make a fabulous Daddy. I can remember seeing Jez with his nieces and watching the way he loved them, hugged them tight, made them laugh, dealt with their strops and how he instinctively and confidently cared for them. He was made to be a Daddy – he has the Daddy genes.
And so as I begin to write this piece I am already a mess of tears just thinking about what a wonderful Daddy he is. We have five children and Jez is a wonderful father, he loves all the boys and it is a privilege to be witness to the love he has for these five children. But the last seven months have shown me really just how wonderful he is.
On November 10th, 2010, Archie made his surprise arrival into the world. The excitement was quickly jolted when we were told that he came with a little something extra…a 47th chromosome. This was the most defining moment of my life. This was the moment that I began to discover a new and deeper kind of love for the father of my children. Right from the beginning Jez accepted Archie and knew nothing but love for him. I remember sitting in the room, feeling as though a train had whooshed through, scattering everything in its path but as the Dr. said the words ‘We think that Archie may have Down Syndrome’ I simply felt Jez’s hand squeeze my hand tighter and tighter, he told me it would be ok because we loved Archie and right from the start I never questioned Jez’s ability to accept, to love and to gratefully receive our son because I know that he is there for the long run.
I love the way Jez values family and shows unconditional love for all of our children. How he snuggles Archie on his chest and Archie falls into a love trance gazing up at him, how he tells me it will be ok when I mention my fears for the future, how he hugs me and holds me tight and eases the twisted feelings in my stomach and feels my sadness and wants to take it away, the names he calls our children like ‘sausage and pudding pie’, the way he glows with happiness when Harry comes waddling towards him and gives him a cuddle and a pat, the way he praises Ollie for his achievements and totally believes in him – even when Ollie is being difficult, how he discusses in great detail the different rules for sports with Jamie and plays football with him – even when he has lots of work to get on with and how he confidently helps Sam learn to ride his bike, how he loved Archie from the beginning even though he wasn’t the baby we were expecting and how he waits patiently each morning to get one of Archie’s squinty eye smiles before he sets off to work.
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With Jez as their role model I know that our boys will all grow up into confident, caring individuals who recognize the value of family and friends, in being loved and showing love for others and that they will each find their place in the world.
….And so when we celebrate Father’s Day, when Jez is the celebrated one and gets to choose something that he would like to do with all of us – the boys and I will feel lucky, grateful and proud. Lucky for being on this journey with him, grateful for the five boys he has given me and the brothers he has created for each of our children and proud of the Daddy who supports us all in so many different ways.
Thank you Jez for the Daddy you are today and for the wonderful Daddy I know you will be to our five boys in the future. You make our family complete and I see being a ‘Daddy’ as one of your greatest accomplishments and feel confident that in the future you will be able to look back upon your legacy and feel it was worth the journey.
And to my own Dad thank you for all you do for all of us. We have leaned upon you more than ever in the last seven months and as always you’ve been there by our side supporting us with every step.
(Hilary has now shown me this highly secret and rather flattering post and has asked me to finish it off…. Jeremy)
And to Grandpa Payne – who very sadly died in 2007 after being an inspiring, honest and principled role model. He actually didn’t like Father’s Day, believing it to be an unnecessary American import, however, now he’s not here I can big him up and not be told to ‘stop being a wally’.
Without question I refer back to Dad’s leadership and guidance on a daily basis. My understanding of how much he is at the core of my own outlook on life makes me thankful to him and scared about my own responsibilities to the boys. Cheers Dad. Here are four of his most enduring pieces of advice to me:
1.Be kind to people weaker than yourself.
2.The things you do wrong will haunt you like a ghost.
3.Clever people are usually more cheerful so be cheerful and people will think you are clever.
4.Keep well back from the car in front.
Simple brilliance. Happy Father’s Day everyone (and thank you Hil, a complete and lovely surprise, this post…).