Seems to have been a while since I posted on here, and a consequence of that is that Hilary’s ‘Father’s Day’ blog post has been at the top of the site for a while, which has been ego-strokingly satisfying. The truth and reality is, however, that I am the same as most Dads around the world. Not all, I know, because some fathers are absent in their child’s lives for various reasons, others are just hideous, and many fathers will be far better because they simply have the capacity and humanity to be so. Anyway, that doesn’t change what I’m thinking.
Tonight I was downloading pictures to the computer, and I realised that I needed to respond to Hilary’s last post. It floored me when I read it and I have revisited it a number of times; it opened the door to a thought process that I have run through and played about with for a while now – I have a 1 hour drive to work which means ten hours of driving each week – plenty of time to contemplate. Essentially I’ve been deconstructing the idea that Phoebe clarified in a ‘Friends’ episode – that Hilary is my lobster….
It’s a weird thing to choose someone for life, particularly if you’re honest enough to know that you and they will change and that life will not be as it was when you first shared the exciting experiences of being new to each other. My Dad explained on many occasions that he decided to marry Mum because she stopped to pick up letters when they were off out for a date, ignoring the fact he was there and putting practical and considerate options before the need to appease him. That was enough for him, and he made a very astute and accurate decision. I can’t point to such a specific moment in my mind when choosing Hil to be the one I’d try and get hooked up with, but I know that there was something that made her stand out. And also, I would like to smugly say, I was right.
Sam
One of the glorious things about being married or even just attached to someone else is the fact that it is a journey – within that journey there will be accidents, traffic jams, expanses of spectacular scenery, amusement, frustration, you name it. I’m on this journey with Hilary – luckily it’s 2011 and SatNav is directing me so we don’t have to argue about Hil’s dodgy map reading skills – hilarious considering she did DofE – but nevertheless we’re moving forward together.
Jamie
My rather laboured point is that Hilary is a top banana. Tonight she has been making costumes for Ollie and Jamie for some upcoming event and also worrying about Archie’s Christening next Sunday. She has made sure that I put suncream on the boys today, tidied the house in advance of her parents coming round and maintained the perpetual cycle of washing and ironing so everyone has clothes to wear. She has met with a friend who has a complicated decision to mull over, developed a concept for a new business that she may try to make a go of and sneezed so hard she has pulled a muscle in her stomach again. That’s just today.
Ollie
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Ollie is modelling his latest costume, ready for him to go to school in on Wednesday. Made by Hilary. Today.
Now this may all seem a little self-indulgent, however I was fairly clear in the ‘About Us‘ page, that this is primarily a blog/diary for us, rather than for you, and so I wanted to mark this particular moment in our life as a significant, flag bearing, cornerstone period where Hilary also needed to be recognised for her unerring devotion and exceptional role in our family. I could go on for a long time, writing expansive paragraphs and exploring deep and complicated metaphors, but this would be a waste of time. The bottom line is that Hilary is an amazing Mum, wife, woman, spirit and confidante and she is the core of our entire family. I feel a little embarrassed leaving that last blog post up without a reply, because the one who should be there is Hilary. So now I’ve replied and put the record straight.
Harry
Being married to Hilary is great. I’m a lucky man. Particularly in this last year, Hilary’s strength and honesty has been a powerhouse. I love the fact that we are doing life together and that the boys are with us on the journey. I count myself to be a very lucky man, and am very grateful to Hilary for that – because she could do much better than me….!
Archie
I’m finishing with this last picture for two reasons, one big, one small. The first (small) is because there are 37,000 photos on our computer now and it is increasingly difficult to find the images you are looking for exactly without spending three weeks trawling through stuff. The second (big) is because this picture captures Hilary at her core – immersed in the experience of one of our boys – and looking pretty damn fit at the same time. Boys, when you read this in later life, you should nod your head at this moment in recognition of how lucky you were to have a mummy like this one.
The matriarch...